Don't let the door hit ya' '08!

This year has been tough. Death, Robberies, Disease, Recession, Disapointment,Rejection.

It has flat out sucked.

I learned alot this year though and I decided I'd share it...

~appreciate my loved ones, and talk to them more, get to know them really.

~smile more, because life is too short to spend it frowning.

~understand the idea of earning, spending, and saving..because it's always good to do a little, as Daddy Dukes would say "cutting back" once in a while.

~don't trust so easily, because people aren't always what they show me.

~BE WHO YOU ARE. <--This is my most important one, I never was who I really am untill recently, and it feels so good to finally be me.

~Stop and appreciate the life in front of me, because so many people don't have what I have.

Those are my broad ideas, but I have learned more and more what it means to just appreciate.

Appreciate my family, my friends, my valuables, whatever it may be, just be grateful.

I lived my life very different before, always looking to get this person to like me, and look like this person, but now, I have learned, due to some key people in my life, that I can't be something that I'm not, and the faster I learn that, the better off I'll be. And I have.

The passing of my uncle, made me regret not ever talking to him, for real. It put into perspective how much of my life I spend just "going through the motions", never really stopping and paying attention. Appreciating the way the moon looks that day, laughing about something my brothers said, asking my grandparents to tell me stories of "when they were a kid."

Goodbye 2008. You've been a horrible year. I hope nothing as bad as this year ever happens to me or my family ever again. But it's over, we have a fresh start.

So yes, for the new year, I will try to loose weight, and I will try to be nicer, but my real new years resolution...

To listen, watch, understand, and appreciate the life I was given, and notice the little things that make it wonderful.

We didnt use too many napkins, I swear!

It's done.. the first milestone for my family without my dear uncle, yet, I find myself more upset. I still dont think it's fair..

Saturday was my baby cousins first birthday, and what a birthday it was.. chubby little legs in a cute little outfit and mashed into the walker.. he zoomed around the dance floor, with other babies and kids running around around him..stopping to pinch his cheek every once in a while(I dont think his big sister stopped running once..) DJ, Balloons, and Shirley Temples, the whole nine yards.. except one thing.. his grandpa. Here this little baby clings to his mommy, as we all sing happy birthday to him, and Grandpas not there to see it.. quite frankly, I think it's the saddest part of the whole thing.Its not fair at all, WHY? why does that bouncing beautiful baby boy, as well as his sister, and cousin have to grow up not knowing the great man that was their Grandpa. But, my uncle would want us to do that for his grandchildren, so we will. Tomorrow it will be three months, and I cant believe it still, I went to look for him when I walked in to the party, expecting an embracing hug, and an attempt to tickle me, as I tried to pry away explaining to him "Uncle Phil, Im 15 years old.. hahah" but he wasnt there, in that place, was my aunt, with a fake smile on her face, and a loving hug that you cant help but give back..but what I would do to get it back one more time..to give him one last hug, knowing it was my last.. I cant even remember if I said good bye to him the last time I saw him, and it kills me, every time I think about it. I wish I would have gotten to know him more, sat down and had a conversation with him, a real one..not just a simple "yeah Im doing good in school..and yes, I want to be a teacher."

Uncle Phil, if your listening to this, Im so sorry.. I wish I took the time to get to know you, and I promise you right here.. I will never take anyone for granted ever again. I love you, and I miss you, and even though I dont see them all the time, I'll watch out for your grandkids, and your family as best as I can, I love you.