Being an active member in my church choir, I often find myself wondering.. do I actually have a relationship with God? or his music? Do I look forward to going to church to get away from everything and just be myself with my choir whom I love so much? Or am I really there to appreciate my religion and everything it has to offer me? Truth is, a little of both.
Pertaining to the music part, yes.. I do love it. I've been in my music ministry for eight years, and have loved every second of it. When it comes to music telling you a story, no story comes to me more vividly then the story of Jesus Christ. So..who is the big JC really to me?
With one of our cantors(announcer/leader of song) away on her honeymoon, and another with too many AP classes to take a day off of school, they were left with me, with my only experience being the leader of the children's choir. Scared as I was to sing in front of the Bishop, even though he was just a little guy with a funny hat, I have to say something changed with me today on that alter. As I clearly and as confident as I knew how, welcomed the confirmation children and their families, I noticed something that never really hit me before. There are generations of grandparents, parents, and children, all together to celebrate this wonderful step of life these kids are taking, and they have no idea what to do. Call me old fashion, but to wear flip flops to a confirmation is outrageous to me, (and believe me, my feet were begging my to take my 4'' babies off.) How? How can these parents, deprive their children, and their children's children the chance to decide for themselves if they want to have a relationship with God or not? Yes, they are there.. but are they listening..no. While the kids renew their baptismal promises...a big part of the days events, they aren't even responding with the simple statement of " I do." Let alone know what it means. Its the first time in their lives that they get to decide if they do or not, DO they believe in God the father? DO they reject Satan and all his works? yet, some were not even listening! I don't get how parents don't see the importance of religion in a kids life, it gives them a place to go, someone to listen to them when the world walks out. Now, this is when i realized, I AM there for myself and for my choir. Affectionately known as my churchies, or as we call ourselves "the d-Kr3w." All of us sharing this love of music and the Lord, I AM there for them. Yet, I'm also there for myself.. my family has always instilled in me the value of religion ( Twan and BabyBro too.) But I have really learned to grow in my faith more than my brothers, being that BabyBro is still a kid, will see what happens. I truly think that my relationship with my parents, my family, my friends, and the big guy himself all benefit from my acceptance of my religion. Although I'm often mocked about being the "good church girl" I really don't care anymore. Religion is apart of me, and it always will be, and it really saddens me to know that some kids will never get to feel the sense of comfort I get when I walk in that church door. I never knew why I loved going to church so much, or if I really DO believe.. but as our profession of faith goes oh so well, "I believe in one God, the maker of heaven and earth, and all things seen and unseen" .. its called Faith.
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